Amish Dan Songtext
Amish dan rode his buggy
Through the bicycle lane
The streets were crowded with cars
And he didn't want to get hit by the train
He was on his way to the station
To meet the bluegrass southern band
For an impromptu concert
From the back of their mini-van

Amish dan was a might religious
He didn't believe in cars
He said if god wanted us to drive
He'd have given us wheels from the start
But he'd always make one exception
For the bluegrass southern band
Cause whenever they came to town
They put some cash in his filthy hand

And after the show, he'd go to the tavern
And buy a round for everyone in the house
In a drunken slur of hypocrasy
Contrary to his image in town

Yes, he drank away his money
Or at least half
What remained went to the horse
Out on the welcome mat
At least until the day
That the police caught on
Amish dan went to prison
And the money was gone

Cause the bluegrass southern band
Had been robbing banks
Their singer stowed it all
And he looked like tom hanks
There was $250,000
In hundreds, tens, and fives
The day they busted in
To the place where they would hide

And at least $1,000 more on each of the band
With the stash that they've hidden in the mini-van
In a desperate attempt to catch a fucking break
But no matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get away

[the bluegrass southern band]
Now we're in this fucking cell
Awaiting our trial
And we're feelin' like the boys
On the green mile
Dan don't like to cuss
So we're singing his parts
We should've killed his fucking horse
And stabbed him in the heart
[/bluegrass southern band]

[dan]
Now that was mean and obnoxious
In my virgin eyes
The bluegrass southern band
Ain't no friends of mine
I lost my fucking horse
And I lost my fucking cash
If I get out of prison
I'm gonna kick their fucking ass
[/dan]

And you see how prison
Can change a man
Even a man so righteous
Like amish dan
And that was sarcasm
That you couldn't detect
Because there's always something wrong
With your motherfucking heads

Amish dan
Amish dan
Amish dan
Amish dan (and Mr. Ed too)
Amish dan
Amish dan
Amish dan
Amish dan (and Mr. Ed too)

Damn