I Killed Myself But I Didn't Die Songtext

I killed myself but I didn't die
now in the hospital they're covering (?)
none of the visitors can look me in the eye
they say "how are ya?" but they don't apologize, oh no

and my mom came in she was having trouble trying to speak
she could see that her boy was some sort of freak

I killed myself but I didn't die
now she's my baby she's the apple of my eye
she only wants a sensitive guy
and I've been in and out of my mind three times

thats just the way, the way I always was
I go to therapy but I don't take the drugs
I try and really look my life in the face
I think I'm learning that there's no way to escape, oh no

and the worst part is that I didn't even really care
it's just to be or not to be and either way I'm only barely there
I killed myself but I'm still around
I think the living dead will like me better now
I'm gonna socialize I'm gonna go out more
I'll be so beautiful with nothing (?)