Mermaid Songtext

do you all mermaid have slight webbed hands? (that must be freaky)

is it normal for a guy to wear scuba apparatus when he makes love in the sea? (make love to me)
make love to him
would it be weird for you if I touched your fishy half? cause it would for me

whoa whoa
waii-yah, waii-ya
ooh ah ooh ooh

do you have mermaid parties beneath the sea? (am I invited?)
at these mermaid parties do you smoke seaweed? (if so, then how do you light it?)
are you the answer to a drunken sailor's lonely wish? (shhh)
or are you an optical illusion caused by a woman sitting on a rock, holding half a fish? (half a shapely halibut)

(everybody) whoa whoa
ooh ah ooh ooh

oh fish-like lady
lady-like fish I don't think so bro, she's a lady lady lady lady lady
no no she's a fish that's just a little bit lady-ish yeah

Speaking:

J: you wish, fish is your favorite dish.
B: let me let you in on a secret, that night the mermaid and I, we had a little bit of dinner together.
J: oh yeah what did you have?
B: caviar.
J: oh ya see? she's a lady.
B: yeah well she would have been if she hadn't laid them! (yeah)
J: but surely, surely bret the fact that she has breasts would indicate that she's, um, capable of producing milk for her young. um, I think her mammal, you know, mammary glands making her a woman, really, um and I think a lady.
B: well, let's just say she definitely had breasts! (ooh, ow, yeah, ooh!)
J: how did you know? did you grope her?
B: (ooh!) no way she ??? me! she'd only just left school! (ooh! thank you, yeah!)

one two three four!
whoa whoa whoa whoa
waiiiiiiioooo, waiiiiioooo