Trucker Songtext
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Trucker 1:
Me and the boys here we been all the way across the country a number of times from one coast to t'other. (Grunt) And we seen a lot of CRAAAAAZY things out there on the road. So we decided to write a song about a group of men that work out there alongside us on the road that never get too much re-COG-nition.
Are you ready boys?
(cheers)
Here we go, and a-one, two, one, two, three
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker
I keep this country rollin,
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker,
Me and the boys here we been all the way across the country a number of times from one coast to t'other. (Grunt) And we seen a lot of CRAAAAAZY things out there on the road. So we decided to write a song about a group of men that work out there alongside us on the road that never get too much re-COG-nition.
Are you ready boys?
(cheers)
Here we go, and a-one, two, one, two, three
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker
I keep this country rollin,
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker,
I like beer and broads and bowlin.
Milton:
Yep, Yeah.
I drive this truck to the mountains,
Over every hill and hummock,
I've got "The South Will Rise Again"
Tattooed on my stomach.
Trucker 2:
I haul a million tons of freight
From Phoenix to Omaha,
Sometimes I fall asleep at the wheel
And I kill carloads of tourists.
(cheers)
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker
I keep this country rollin,
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker,
I like beer and broads and bowlin.
Trucker 1:
Let me talk to them for a while, there, Milton
Milton:
Well, there, you give a little howdy-do, pickle up the nostril, kiss my monkey and I'll call you home for Christmas 'cause I'm bringin my turkey in my side pocket.
Trucker 1:
I will boy, I will.
Trucker 2:
Well I ride down the road with a heavy load,
The highway's long and lonely,
So sometimes I pick up teenage hitchhikin boys
And I go to motels and I neck with 'em.
(cheers)
Sometimes we do a little more than neck, if you know what I mean
(cheers)
Milton:
Well, sometimes I prod them with fondue forks and say: "You're gonna be a Greek salad for me and I'm gonna be your big olive"
(cheers)
Trucker 1:
Sometimes I dress up as a tree so's I can entice the small people to climb my trunk and touch my leaves
(cheers)
Trucker 2:
Sometimes I go home
(pause)
(cheers)
Milton:
Sometimes I fondle a crippled gopher, trying to nurse it back to health. Then I stick it into my cheek and roll around on the ground, squirmin, sayin "Woo Woo Get out of there, I'm comin home!" Then you go up to the top of Mt. Sinai and scream "I want some commandments, myself!"
(cheers)
Trucker 1:
We don't want you to think it's all gophers in cheek out there on the road, folks. OOOOOH NO SIR!
Bring it down a little fellas, bring it down. I got a scary story to tell. It gets kinda scary out there on the road. There's this one time me and Milton, here, we was at the top of a mountain pass. We're cruisin 90 miles an hour down the side of the Rocky Mountains. We got chickens! Chickens stacked 20 feet high, when Milton here realizes that the brakes have given away.
Milton:
Well, I reckon the brakes have given away, there.
Trucker 1:
And we were scared, boy. Were we scared Milton?
(scream)
And we were pickin up speed too.
91..92..93 miles an hour, 94..95..96 miles an hour
We're goin 200 miles an hour down the side of the Rocky Mountains. We got chickens! Chickens stacked up 85 feet high when Milton here realizes that the only place we'll be able to stop is when we hit the wall of Mabel's Coffee Hut at the bottom of the pass.
Milton:
Well, I reckon that the only place we'll be able to stop is when we hit the wall of Mabel's Coffee Hut at the bottom of the pass, there.
Trucker 1:
And we're continuin to pick up speed.. We're goin 15 hundred thousand miles an hour down the side of the Rocky Mountains. We got chickens! Chickens stacked two miles high, and we slam into the wall of Mabel's Coffee Hut. And we pass the (??) machines (??) don't have the time nor the money. And we climb out of our cab, as we're standing over Mabel's 400 pound greasy corpse and there's only one thing we can think and one thing we can say:
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker
I'm a guy on the open road
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker,
Could you make that pie a la mode?
Milton:
Give me a piece of ice cream on there, I'm a hungry man.
Trucker 1:
Here we go..
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker
I keep this country ROLLLLINNNN
Milton:
Rollin', rollin',
Now you go downtown, you wear a frown
You walk up to old Farmer Brown
Then you kick him in the face and you knock him down
And he says, "Oh, why did you kick me there?"
And I say "Hey, 'cause I got big hair"
And I walks (wash?) my street and I kiss my mother
Then I go and rub my brother
With a piece of corn that I keep in my pants
Yes, I'm gonna go to France
Watch, watch, the old man sneeze
He's beneath the tree
I'm going to (hack) (hack)
(pause)
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker,
I like BEER and BROADS and BOWLLLLINNN.
(HONK HONK)
Milton:
Yep, Yeah.
I drive this truck to the mountains,
Over every hill and hummock,
I've got "The South Will Rise Again"
Tattooed on my stomach.
Trucker 2:
I haul a million tons of freight
From Phoenix to Omaha,
Sometimes I fall asleep at the wheel
And I kill carloads of tourists.
(cheers)
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker
I keep this country rollin,
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker,
I like beer and broads and bowlin.
Trucker 1:
Let me talk to them for a while, there, Milton
Milton:
Well, there, you give a little howdy-do, pickle up the nostril, kiss my monkey and I'll call you home for Christmas 'cause I'm bringin my turkey in my side pocket.
Trucker 1:
I will boy, I will.
Trucker 2:
Well I ride down the road with a heavy load,
The highway's long and lonely,
So sometimes I pick up teenage hitchhikin boys
And I go to motels and I neck with 'em.
(cheers)
Sometimes we do a little more than neck, if you know what I mean
(cheers)
Milton:
Well, sometimes I prod them with fondue forks and say: "You're gonna be a Greek salad for me and I'm gonna be your big olive"
(cheers)
Trucker 1:
Sometimes I dress up as a tree so's I can entice the small people to climb my trunk and touch my leaves
(cheers)
Trucker 2:
Sometimes I go home
(pause)
(cheers)
Milton:
Sometimes I fondle a crippled gopher, trying to nurse it back to health. Then I stick it into my cheek and roll around on the ground, squirmin, sayin "Woo Woo Get out of there, I'm comin home!" Then you go up to the top of Mt. Sinai and scream "I want some commandments, myself!"
(cheers)
Trucker 1:
We don't want you to think it's all gophers in cheek out there on the road, folks. OOOOOH NO SIR!
Bring it down a little fellas, bring it down. I got a scary story to tell. It gets kinda scary out there on the road. There's this one time me and Milton, here, we was at the top of a mountain pass. We're cruisin 90 miles an hour down the side of the Rocky Mountains. We got chickens! Chickens stacked 20 feet high, when Milton here realizes that the brakes have given away.
Milton:
Well, I reckon the brakes have given away, there.
Trucker 1:
And we were scared, boy. Were we scared Milton?
(scream)
And we were pickin up speed too.
91..92..93 miles an hour, 94..95..96 miles an hour
We're goin 200 miles an hour down the side of the Rocky Mountains. We got chickens! Chickens stacked up 85 feet high when Milton here realizes that the only place we'll be able to stop is when we hit the wall of Mabel's Coffee Hut at the bottom of the pass.
Milton:
Well, I reckon that the only place we'll be able to stop is when we hit the wall of Mabel's Coffee Hut at the bottom of the pass, there.
Trucker 1:
And we're continuin to pick up speed.. We're goin 15 hundred thousand miles an hour down the side of the Rocky Mountains. We got chickens! Chickens stacked two miles high, and we slam into the wall of Mabel's Coffee Hut. And we pass the (??) machines (??) don't have the time nor the money. And we climb out of our cab, as we're standing over Mabel's 400 pound greasy corpse and there's only one thing we can think and one thing we can say:
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker
I'm a guy on the open road
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker,
Could you make that pie a la mode?
Milton:
Give me a piece of ice cream on there, I'm a hungry man.
Trucker 1:
Here we go..
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker
I keep this country ROLLLLINNNN
Milton:
Rollin', rollin',
Now you go downtown, you wear a frown
You walk up to old Farmer Brown
Then you kick him in the face and you knock him down
And he says, "Oh, why did you kick me there?"
And I say "Hey, 'cause I got big hair"
And I walks (wash?) my street and I kiss my mother
Then I go and rub my brother
With a piece of corn that I keep in my pants
Yes, I'm gonna go to France
Watch, watch, the old man sneeze
He's beneath the tree
I'm going to (hack) (hack)
(pause)
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker,
I like BEER and BROADS and BOWLLLLINNN.
(HONK HONK)
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