Untitled Songtext

that I have something to offer
to the opposite sex,
it's a cruel, cruel world and I'm broke,
and I wanna drink to that
Just look at the way she looks tonight,
I bet she's never had a body like mine

hey girls,
how much does a polar bear weigh,
say, "I don't know."
"But it's enough to break the ice."
Won't you talk to me for awhile,
'cause i want a piece of that.

hey charlotte,
sorry i drunk dialed you again,
but while I got you on the phone,
won't you tell me what's wrong,
and we can work it out,
whenever he leaves i'm just lonely, and i wanna drink to that
just think about the things we live for
it's funny how we can't even make a commitment anymore

hey charlie,
won't you tab me out
i think im going to bed
alone in my head,
and i was thinking,
i don't wanna live like that,
i'd rather die of a heart attack

hey jesus,
won't you save me from this life
that i pursued for happiness
and i'm just waiting by the phone
to hear a precious woman's voice
on the other end say "hey babe,
i want a piece of that."
and i was looking at the way we carry ourselves,
you know we all just look like a bunch of...