Eddie Are You Kidding? Songtext

Eddie, are you kidding?I've seen you on my TVEddie, are you kidding?The people always ask meI saw your double knitsI thought they were the pitsYou threw it in a bagAnd then you sent me home - -What!?Eddie, are you kidding?No, no.Eddie, are you kidding?No, no.Eddie, are you teasingAbout your rancid garments?Eddie, are you teasingAbout your sixty tailors?I'm coming over shortlyBecause I am a portlyYou promised you could fit meIn fifty Dollar suit - -OhEddie, are you kidding?No, no.Eddie, are you kidding?No, no.Eddie, my friends ask me,Eddie, Eddie, are you kidding?I wanna tell you something,my friends:I am not kidding.Here at Zachary AllWe have sixty tailorsIn the back room.We have the west's largestSelections of portly's, regularsLongs, extra longs, and cadets.And my friends say to me: Eddie,Eddie, what do you think of the new Double Knits?(Eddie, what do you think of the new Double Knits?)And I tell them: I'll tell youSomething frankly, my friends - -When the new double knits firstCame out, I was not impressed.But as you can seeThese pants I'm wearingAre double knit. They stretchIn all the right places.They're most comfortable.Our model Twiggy here will demostrate.I have this lovely littleSeersucker ... wait a minuteWHERE CAN I GO GARDENA?AND WHERE CAN I GO IN L.A.AND WHERE CAN I GO IN ROSEMONTI NEED SOME THREADS TODAYI need the knitsThe double knitsI need the knitsThey are the pitsI need the knitsThe double knitsI'm coming over shortlyBecause I am a portlyYou promised you could fit meIn fifty Dollar suit - -Whew!Eddie, are you kidding? No, no.Eddie, are you kidding? No, no.Eddie, are you kidding? No, no.Eddie, are you kidding me?Eddie, are you kidding me?Eddie, are you kidding me?No, my friends, I'm not kidding,Right here on the miracle mileWe have the west's largestSelections of portly, regularCadet, tall and long.And not only that - -My brother Jake and Little EmilAnd sixty tailors ...